Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize