how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
