i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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