what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
