I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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