Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
