I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
