Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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