I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
