If i come over, it means nothing
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
