He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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