Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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