We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
