You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
