he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
