Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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