Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
After tacos, we're chasing women.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
