bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
