he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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