I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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