it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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