it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
