my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
