i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
