Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
