so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
