remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
