so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
