How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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