Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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