Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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