How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
They have beer where we have blood.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
