I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
