Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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