why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
