Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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