guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
