He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
