She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
wow bdsm is so cute
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize