he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
