On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
