NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
