And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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