i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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