You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
