Soap is not a condiment
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
