It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Randomize
