I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
