Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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