"it" just moved
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
