I can't breathe out the right side of my face
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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