If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
