Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Randomize
