yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
